Home Again

Well i am home again and loving every minute of it. u don't realize how much you miss your family until you are gone and visit again... of course you miss them while you are away, but usually ur busy doing other things that you don't really have the chance to miss them too much. Then you come home and it's like...you odn't want to leave again... C and i talked about how nice it has been to see our families. We even talked about moving closer. I would totally move but i don't want to hurt my aunts feelings, and i would miss her. kalamazoo has grown on me in a way, but there is not much more to stay for that what i have already mentioned. Friendships that i thought i made have faded or have been found to be not so much friendships but aquaintances. it sux to find that out, but it would suck even more to believe that it was something great when it really isn't. this does apply to someone in particular..i guess i could mention her name cuz she will not be reading this..but..nah..i know who i'm talking about and thats all that matters... well..there have been some things going on lately that has really made me think. bcuz of these "things" i have come to the conclusion that i and C have been lead on for quite some time. I feel as tho we were only kept around until she found someone else. she likes to say..that she hasn't been leading anyone on and that we have not been acting anything more than friends...well...go ahead and say it and try to believe it all you want ...but that is false. taste of kalamazoo was not that long ago and maybe you don't remember but you damn sure acted like you wanted to be together...not right then maybe but you wanted to in the future. and i can think of another time when i outright asked you who u wanted to be with and you said you and constance. but u will prob blame on alcohol or some shit. whatever... now...you have found someone and guess what...who could give two shits about me and c....hmmm...just as i thought. but it's cool...i hope your happy...one day you will realize what you have done... and it will be nothing but a mere memory to me that i have forgotten. i now see her in a different light. and will always remember her in this way......Anyways, enuff about that shit. whoa kinda weird how i started putting you like i was actually talking to this person...i guess it's easier to write. just had to get that off my chest and now i can be done with it. you know...i'm happy right now. not to say that i was sad or anything before..but i feel content... kates cat is staring at me... the evil thing bit me yesterday..for no reason.. then tried to attack me again..she said it's bcuz she wanted me to pet her...weirdo..but i guess people do the same things...in away. boob is in wv right now. i miss her. she gets me...atleast most of the time. we are best friends which is great. that should always come first. i know that she will never hurt me on purpose or say something just to hurt my feelings. i know that she will always be there.... a lot of people were suppose to "be there" in my life...besides my family..everyone else...well lets just say..they are no longer "there" some people take special people like C for granted...I never will.. It's late and i wonder if she is sleeping yet... or is she reading that damn harry potter book.hahaha. as soon as she signed off tonight i missed her. i wanted her to sign back online..but...i know i will talk to her tomorrow. i guess i should go to bed..i'm waking up kinda early to hang out with my sis. she is passed out.. with the evil ass cat laying beside her...lol. i found these shoes in her room and i think i like them. i have them on right now to see if they would fit and they do..maybe she will let me have them. hahaha. my mom told me last night that it was great to have me home. and it wasn't just words...she was looking me straight in the eye with a big smile on her face. lil things can mean so much. ok well i think i should stop writing..not sure if i'm even gonna publish this cuz i kinda jumped around and lost my train of thought at times. oh well , we will see. gnight