Hmmm....

Things with M are really weird now. i'm not even sure if weird is the right word. a while ago, M said that she just wanted to be friends. so ok, thats cool. but then last week m is telling us that she doesn't like how things have changed and that she doesn't just want to be friends but she can't be in a relationship right now and it wouldn't be fair and all this bullshit. then last night she is stressin over some girl she hardly knows cuz she likes her. and basically going thru the same situation she just had with us last week. obviously all the shit said last week was a just that a bunch of shit. you can't feel so strongly for someone one week and then be trippin about someone else the next. it's funny how we couldn't make you question how you want your summer to go but some girl you hardly know can? to me the fact that, that can happen, means it wasn't really anything. just someone afraid to let go. it's hard to let go of things that are comfortable and convenient. but whatever. she tells me i have no right. when your tellin us that you love us and all kinds of bullshit, i have a right to be pissed off when your catching feelings for someone else a few days later. and how are you going to send a tm sayin i love you girls no matter what when you are messin with someone other girl and have her at your place? fuck all that. you were the one strugglin with us just being friends a few days ago. i guess your feelings can change just as quick as your moods or you personality, cuz for real, i don't really know you. not anymore. this is your new life, and hey that is perfectly fine with me, but i don't really think i can be a part of it. whatever your tryin to prove to yourself or do i hope you accomplish it. just be careful in the process. I hope you find someone that will make you want to give your 100% and be in a relationship. and hey, you mind of already found that someone with nikki. this really is a weird situation. it's like closure in a way. cuz now, any chance of there being anything more than friends, anything romantic, is totally gone. i won't speak for C, but for me.... it's done and over. i hope that one day we can be friends. we never really got to be that, but now that there is not chance of anything more, maybe it will be easier. anyways, i could write more, but i don't much feel like it. not much point. it is what it is . and i'm fine with that. just a lil mad that we can be everything to mandy one day and she's cryin about some girl the next. doesn't seem right. makes it seem like it was all an act. but whatever. enough about that shit. my period is being a real bitch to me this month. i was up all night. couldn't get comfortable cuz no matter how i would lay, i was in pain and going to the bathroom like every 5 minutes. i didn't go to work today. sitting in the chair would of been hell. boo boo is at work and i miss her. but i'll be seeing her soon. not exactly soon enough, but hopefully time will go by quick. alright well sitting like this is starting to make my stomache hurt worse so i'm gonna go. lata